14 Comments
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Vis's avatar

My beliefs are similar to yours. I don't feel like anyone I've lost is with me in a spiritual sense, it's more like there are parts of me, and the world, that are shaped a certain way because they were there. Sometimes this feels comforting and sometimes it just feels like stating the bleeding obvious.

Sending a consensual hug if you would like it xx

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Diane Shipley's avatar

I would like it, thank you! ☺️ And I’m glad it’s not just me — I like the thought of feeling my mum around me but it just seems like the antithesis of reality (sadly).

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Things We Didn't Know's avatar

Diane, this is such a beautiful piece. I like to imagine that my lost one is around me, that I see her from the corner of eye, that she whispers to me, but I think that really it is just my imagination, and it happens most when I write.

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Diane Shipley's avatar

Thank you so much 💓 I think it’s lovely your imagination does that. I also think/hope maybe I’ll feel more of a connection through writing about my mum as time goes on, it’s just too raw right now.

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Jackie's avatar

Thankyou for such an honest and real summary of loss. I miss my Dad all the time but I don’t feel him with me, in fact he’s disappearing in a way as we that are left celebrate big life events and he’s just not here.

But nothing, nothing, will ever prepare you for the moment when without warning another older gentleman is wearing a jacket similar to what your Dad would wear and bang. I’m gone and done.

Looking forward to reading more of your insights 🙏

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Diane Shipley's avatar

Thank you ❤️ I’m really sorry for your loss and yes, I’ve had a similar moment with my mum — someone coming down an aisle in a shop and my brain registering the coat and hair colour out of the corner of my eye and thinking, “Oh, there’s mum.” And then you’re crying in Poundland.

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Jennifer Schiffer's avatar

I am not sure what I think happens after death-- certainly seems like the great unknown. What I do know is that it's too much to put anything I think on someone else. "Of course you should talk to your mom!" Just seems so presumptuous!! Let people experience grief in their own way, geez!

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Diane Shipley's avatar

Exactly! I think people want to make it easier for me (or make themselves feel more comfortable…) but I tend not to assume that my way of doing anything is the best, so I’m shocked at some people’s confidence

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Rachel Cross's avatar

This is beautiful.

My mum died 2 years ago. I regularly talk to her but I would be completely freaked out if I felt her near me or she replied! I talk to my memories of her. Sometimes it feels good, sometimes not. X

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Diane Shipley's avatar

Thank you ❤️ I’m sorry you lost your mum, too. I guess grieving is all about whatever helps us cope. And I think maybe I’m mostly jealous of people who feel their loved ones around, I always think HOW?!

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Ellen's avatar

Well, what I can share is this; My mother died last month. She was 92 years old. She missed my father terribly. He died 18 months ago, aged 96. She had never been an adult without him. I am grateful for her passing. Strange right? I believe she no longer suffers, is no longer afraid and at peace. No, I do not talk to her. No, I do not see signs that she is communicating with me. I am trying very hard to remember the good times, even though it is difficult. This is made easier by the fact that I am 67 and a little more accustomed to loosing people. It isn't easy, but I try to be very grateful for all the wonderful experiences I had as a result of their existance. No one can tell you how to recover from someone's death, it is too personal. But, you will make it.

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Diane Shipley's avatar

I’m sorry for your loss but I’m glad you’re feeling some gratitude around it, and hope the good times get easier to remember (I think it just takes a while). Thanks for your kind words ❤️

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Keris Fox's avatar

I agree with every word xx

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Diane Shipley's avatar

Thank you ❤️ ♥️

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