6 Comments
User's avatar
Turtles & Macarons's avatar

It might be wrong to feel the way you (and I) felt about your friend missing out on a party, but it's also wrong to complain to people who have it worse. Just like you don't tell your friend who you know is struggling with infertility or stillbirths etc. that your kids are soo annoying, you don't kvetch to the friend who's chronically ill that you can't attend a party. At least that's my opinion.

Expand full comment
Diane Shipley's avatar

Yes, I hear what you’re saying! I think a lot of people don’t get the reality of chronic illness so they don’t even consider that they’re being insensitive (which, obviously, is a problem).

Expand full comment
Turtles & Macarons's avatar

A lot of people seem to have trouble putting themselves in someone else's shoes...

Expand full comment
Diane Shipley's avatar

Very much so!

Expand full comment
Michelle S's avatar

Oh I read it when it came and many times since and shared it multiple times. Every word encapsulated my feelings during lockdown as someone who had been homebound with ME/CFS for 15 years at that point (and still is, alas). It's a brilliant essay and I never tire of reading it!

Have been reading your Substack for awhile and keep meaning to comment in a more meaningful way. Maybe that will happen at some point but for now I can at least leave a quick comment to say I loved the tone of this essay, the existential questions that illness and FOMO produce, and the way you tie it altogether.

Expand full comment
Diane Shipley's avatar

Oh, that’s so lovely to hear, thank you so much! (Although of course I’m sorry to hear that you are able to relate, this illness really sucks.) And this was very meaningful to me despite your disclaimers so while further comments are always welcome, this one was a belter 👏

Expand full comment